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Motherhood, Pregnancy, and the Future

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

Hello fellow moms and moms-to-be.  I haven’t blogged in a while, but I’ve been so busy running a store and being pregnant, I have forgotten to write.  So just wanted to share some late night thoughts and reflections about life, motherhood, and just being present.

So for those that don’t know, I have two boys, just turned 5 and 8.  Seems crazy to think I have an eight-year old.  I remember moving into this neighborhood when I was pregnant with Dillon.  The neighbors had children from 3 to 9, and I remember thinking how far apart we were in life.  Now I realize we were not so far apart at all.  After having children, your life speeds up exponentially.  Is it because you are busier, and thus time flies?  Or is it because you are older?  I think the former is true.

Once you are caught up in bathing, feeding, dressing, teaching, cleaning, and nurturing your child, the months just fly by.  The first sense of this comes the first time you have to put away your baby’s newborn clothes that he has outgrown, and you think, “Oh, he’s growing too fast.”  Before you know it, you have a second grader coming home to you, doing “armpit farts” and laughing hysterically at your “OMG” reaction.  Just wait!  It will happen to you sooner or later.

So after giving away all of our baby stuff, imagine our surprise when we find out we are pregnant again last April.  I must say that I was perhaps a bit pleasantly surprised.  I found myself excited and a bit apprehensive.  Will this one be a boy too?  Or dare I say a little girl that I have always wanted?

As time passed, I talked myself into thinking this was another boy, and surprisingly, I was very content with this possibility.  I love my boys dearly, and to me, there is nothing sweeter than another little baby boy.  So as the weeks have passed, we even picked out a name for our new son, “Luke”.  Funny enough, no girl names appealed to us.  My relatives told me I was going to have a girl, but I just laughed them off, and said, “No, no.  It will be another boy.”

So last week, we went to have the ultrasound done, and I brought my boys, DIllon, Peyton, and my husband BIll.  It took the tech about 15 minutes to get a clear shot, as we really have an active little one who did not want to stay still.  Finally, she said she got a clear shot.  She said, “Are you ready?” and I looked and knew already, but didn’t dare say it out loud.  There was something missing from this picture that I normally see, and my boys were not shy with their ultrasounds.  As soon as shy typed the “G”, tears sprang to my eyes.  “It’s a girl!”  I was so excited, as my dream nursery sprung to my mind.  Then the thoughts of all the future tea parties, barbie doll playing, dressing up and painting our nails together, going shopping, and just doing girl stuff popped in my mind.

As soon as the excitement wore off a little bit, that’s when I thought of all the responsibility being a mom to a girl will be.  I have to make sure she turns out to be a confident, smart, happy, and independent woman.  I am her role model.  I would rather her rescue the prince than be rescued.  Sure I’ll let her play princess, but I will always remind her that she must rescue herself.  She must take control of her own life to surely be happy.

Having a girl makes me nervous, but at least I don’t have to make the circumcision decision.  Am I right?

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